We should re title this “18 ways to know that someone isn’t interested in dating you.”
This guy, Christopher Hudspeth, just sounds bitter about a relationship not working out for him.
He generalizes our modern generation into sounding like we are all selfish and shallow and don’t know how to communicate with one another.
Yes, technology has created a few fundamental weaknesses in our ability to communicate, but seriously this guy just goes over the top.
“Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests)”… “If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” “.
It sounds to me like this guy doesn’t know when he is being avoided.
It’s common knowledge (or so I assume) that if someone is interested, they make time for you. They want you around.
Most people don’t go out of their way to just play mind games. More often than not, they feel overwhelmed by someone’s advances and don’t want to come off as rude. So “maybe” they can hang out, they’ll “let you know later”. In this day and age were taught to not hurt anyone’s feelings, so we tip toe around the fact that we don’t enjoy each other’s company, trying not to hurt someone. It isn’t always the best approach, but that doesn’t mean that person is intentionally messing with your head.
He also makes a comment about there being a thin line between being creepy and romantic. Number 7 in fact: “The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.”
Well, Chris, no that’s not all.
If someone is sitting outside my house after I have told him multiple times that I’m not sure I’m going to have time to see him, and make it obviously clear that I am busy with other people, whether you have flowers in your hand or not, I didn’t want to see you. So that is creepy. Not romantic.
Checking my Facebook constantly and Instagram, twitter, and tumblr to see what I’m doing and who I’m with is creepy, not endearing.
He never specifies what is creepy and what is romantic in his list of things to deal with while dating, but I most definitely disagree with it being only the individuals level of attraction that draws the line between creep and romance.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand where he is coming from. Not all of my relationships have been ideal.
I’ve dated the guy who doesn’t text back, the “we are just talking” situation has happened to me. But to confuse a relationship that didn’t work with the very fabric of modern dating is not the right way to look at things.
"1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested."
I’m sorry, how old are we? If that person doesn’t care about the relationship just as much as you THEN THERE IS YOUR FIRST CUE IT WON’T WORK OUT!
Seriously, look at everything you have just written and then look around you.
Obviously not every relationship works like that. If it did we would all be doomed to live miserable unhappy and lonely lives.
Just because our main form of communication is texting instead of calling doesn’t mean no one knows how to date.
It’s like saying “every guy I date is a cheating asshole” well have you considered broadening your taste in men? If you go after guys with the same characteristics of course all your relationships will end the same.
Basically what I am trying to say here is, take some responsibility. Learn to recognize when someone isn’t interested and when someone doesn’t respect you.
Instead of using all your energy to be angry or to convince that person why they should be interested and respect you, put that energy back into yourself.
The right person who does all these things will come along if you’re not busy wasting your time on people who don’t care.